I will never forget the day my world changed forever. I was in Murfreesboro, Tennessee when I received the call from a police officer telling me my son had died. I immediately headed home. Burying a child is the hardest thing a parent can do no matter what the age of the child. He was a grown man with a family of his own. To me he was and always will be my child.
This was in November. Every holiday, beginning with Thanksgiving became the first without my son. There was an empty chair at the dinner table. The entire family was noticeably subdued. I baked his favorite cake for dessert as I do for every holiday as a way to have him at the table with us.
I remember the first Mother’s Day after losing my son. It was the sixth holiday I celebrated without him. Christmas was the hardest until this one. I wasn’t going to get a call from him. No bouquet of flowers arrived. The worst part was no mentioned him. My children and grand children call to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. The conversation was different like they didn’t know what to say. I believe they didn’t want to upset me and I know they meant well.
Having living children and one who passed away is bittersweet. I put on a happy face for my children while I cried silent tears. Even now, I still miss him and always will.
I believe the hardest thing for my family and friends is they don’t know what to say. Many times, no one mentions his name. For me, I would like it if people acknowledged him, maybe shared a memory of him with me. Or just let me know you’re thinking of me. Time passes and people get involved in their own lives. If you know anyone who has lost a child through miscarriage or a death at any age, check in on them. They will appreciate it.
Proverbs 31:28 KJV
It is also important to remember, grief doesn’t have a time limit. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. There is no right way to grieve. Give us the space we need and let us go through the process.
Proverbs 31:28 KJV 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Have an awesome and blessed Mother’s Day.
